Rebuilding Lives
by MysteriousSVU
Summary: Set Eight months after the series finale, how everything changes. In Lilly's case for the better, or for worse.   Reveling secrets, Warning slight LS Love in one chapter!
1. Eight Months Later

It had been just eight months, since the whole finding Christina ordeal. Although she had been sent to rehab, she also was still receiving treatment for depression. Not once did she beg for Lilly to sign her out; but instead focused on getting better.

The fear of Cliff finding her or Amanda was still omnipresent in her mind, even though he was now dead. He had abused her both physically and mentally, both before and after Christina had given birth. She had tried many times to run away, but he always found her. Yet, after being transferred to Western Psychiatric; she refused to speak about the abuse or the nightmares that still plagued her.

Yet, was glad when Scotty would visit her. Although this place brought back memories of Elisa, but didn't let it get to him, knowing that she was now at peace. He would visit often, which let to them becoming close friends. Lilly knew about this but didn't get mad, but instead encouraged it. There was no sense of getting angry over them being friends.

She had managed to drop what happened long ago, knowing that this wasn't the same thing as before. Besides Christina needed all the support that she could get . As far as her own friendship with Scotty remained distant, since last May. She had tried taking to him, but was ignored unless they were at work and talking about something case related.

Lilly didn't take the FBI job, after everything. She knew that Philadelphia was her home; a city where she couldn't leave her family or her squad behind. Even if it meant a better paycheck among other things, none of it mattered. Her decision was to stay was the right choice, besides the fact that Stillman wanted her to take over his position when he eventually retired.

As far as everyone was concerned, Vera had made strides by losing some weight. Kat and ADA Bell's relationship seemed to indicate that they might be closer to getting engaged, Jefferies was continuing to write his novel along with getting teased by everyone.

Just two weeks ago, Stillman and the former Special Agent Yates celebrated their engagement. That came as any surprise, since the two had already moved in together last June. Not long after she had arrived at home that evening, did Scotty finally decided to drop in.

He didn't look thrilled to be seeing her," This was Chris's idea."

" I see, considering the fact that you've been treating me like crap. I've had it with you ignoring me, for someone that was once my best friend," which was something that Lilly needed him to know, " We were fine until we found Chris. What the hell happened?"

Scotty had found that he nothing remotely to angry at her for, " I don't know Lil, you're probably pissed at me for spending time with her."

" Actually I'm not, but treating me the way that you did Scotty; hurt me. Felt odd not having my best friend to talk to, someone that's always been like a brother," her voice was quiet but it told Scotty that his actions were uncalled for. He was out of line, considering that these past eights had been very difficult for her as well.

With one motion, Scotty came closer; as he embraced her. Just by her holding onto him, made him realize just how special their friendship really was. She was the sister that he had longed for growing up, whom was now crying softly into his shoulder.

Just a few minutes later Lilly pulled away," So we friends again."

" Always," he smiled, " We're partner's right?", noticing the smile on her face," I'm just happy that you didn't take the job, wouldn't want another partner. We make a great team together, can't imagine coming to work not seeing you anymore. I was angry and feared I lose my best friend."

Lilly understood completely, " You don't have to worry, I'm being considered for Stillman's position once he retires."

" We'll still be partners, even she's my pain in the ass boss," he teased," I should go, I'll pick you up tomorrow at seven. Still owe you coffee."

Once he had left, Lilly felt a sigh of relief. As she went upstairs and into Amanda's room; she peered down at the sleeping one year old. From the moment that she saw her crying in a laundry basket, the realization of her childhood turning out to be like her own or worse, sent a massive fear throughout Lilly's body.

Then came the protectiveness over her family; something Lilly had never felt before. As she planted a kiss on Amanda's cheek, Lilly knew that she was going to grow up with a sense of both love and family; as well as being spoiled by her grandfather.

If there was one thing that her niece had taught her was the importance of family; what it meant. On the other hand, Lilly worried a lot for Christina. She needed to be there for her sister, but was glad that Cliff was found dead inside of his car, just three days later. That was around the time that his place had gone up in smoke.

Upon getting into bed, Lilly sighed deeply. It had been a very long eight months, but just she was about to close her eyes; her phone buzzed in a form of a picture message.

She knew exactly who the person was. Only that Lilly was unsure if she wanted back in, especially with a one year old to raise. What is Amanda got attached, then the relationship ended? That was one of her concerns since her niece needed a dad.

As much as Lilly still loved Eddie, his line of work prevented him from being in a stable relationship. That was a problem which made her decide not to answer his text. She didn't want someone that was undercover most of the time.

Once her eyes had closed, Lilly had no idea what tomorrow would be like.


	2. Christina's Emotional Breakdown

Shortly after dropped Amanda off at daycare, Lilly headed over to Western Psychiatric. The morning started off pleasant between the two sisters; but both were equally happy to see one another. Yet, Lilly already could see just how hard Christina was trying not to become all emotional.

" Your doctor said that it be a better thing, it was just us," as Lilly shut the door behind," I thought that all these years, you were mom's favorite. Then when I found you lying on that mattress, hearing what you telling me. I knew you just wanted to be loved, just like me. We both needed what Mom failed to provide."

Christina nodded softly," I used to run away go there, to the beach while I was pregnant. Cliff would hurt me, it was the only place that I felt safe. He always find me though, slap me around. Another time I came back, felt Amanda was kicking for the first time. All I could do was cry, wanting to go home but Cliff would kill me. "

IT was a good thing that he was dead, Lilly still hated what he did to her sister," Amanda wasn't born at hospital. Was she born where I found you?"

Christina shook her head, " He locked me up in some room, all I could do is cry out in pain. Didn't help that he beat me up, just the night before. Once Amanda was born, I held her; knowing she was all I had. When Cliff saw that I had a girl, he was pissed. He hit me, telling me that she was mistake. He made me sleep in that room, so I made a makeshift crib for her."

" The laundry basket."

" It was all that I could do Lil, he fly into a rage when she'd cry all night. Make me have sex with me, then throw me onto the floor when Amanda would cry out."

Lilly felt terrible for what her sister had to endure," That how the addiction started?"

"Cliff gave me it, I just started taking them. I knew Amanda needed me, so much so that I woke up one day knowing I had go home and find us someplace better to live. Cliff wanted me to do a drug thing, but instead I reached out to Scotty."

Perhaps it was trust or the fact that Christina knew that Scotty would never harm her. With the truth being that she couldn't go to her directly only to be pushed away, he was the only choice left," How soon after that did you find Dad?"

" Not long, felt bad for stealing some of his wife's jewelry. I still hate him for leaving us, we lost everything when he left. He could have still taken us away from Mom, we didn't deserve grow up the way that we did."

Lilly sighed," You cried so hard that night after dad took us to the beach. Remember I read to you that night, all you wanted was him to come back. His visit hurt more than it helped."

" We got a chance to be sisters, be kids again. The day Lil, we were happy. Ran around, it was so different. Not when we had to head back, I didn't want to go back. That's why I would run away to the beach," as Christina began screaming loudly while still crying, " You have no idea Lil, what I even feel. Having a perfect life, I hate you !"

With her screaming osculating, Lilly was then ushered out as two nurses came in trying to restrain Christina from lashing out.

It hurt to see her sister that way, but inside Lilly knew she was terrible sister. As her own tears now threatened to fall, she sat down on a couch in the hallway. What she wasn't expecting was to see Scotty walking down the hall.

Right away, he noticed the look on her face, "What Happened?"

" I did the counseling private thing that the doctors thought would help. Christina started opening up, then she just snapped. She said she hated me. I can't blame her Scotty, I pushed her away. She could have come home and have Amanda safely here."

Scotty sighed as he sat down beside her," You both had a bad childhood, a mom who wasn't a good example of a parent. What Christina did with her life isn't your fault, she still loves you despite what happened."

He knew that his words weren't enough, " I'll stay, Chris might need me."

" At least you won't hurt her, she feels safe with you," seeing that Scotty was reminded of Elisa just by being inside of this place," You still miss her?"

" Yeah, but she's not in pain anymore. What she did was the only way she'd feel free. I just don't want that to happen to Chris. I worried that it would happen to you, after the shooting. If anything I screwed up, got sloppy when you needed me. Should have been more a friend."

Lilly gently touched his hand," Hey, I did say that and you saved my life. We had our ups and downs but through it all, your still my best friend. The only person I can open up to."

He saw just how much she valued their friendship, he did as well. For hours they sat there debating what to do next. By the afternoon, Lilly left to spend lunchtime with Amanda. While Scotty was finally able to see Christina whom was now lying down in bed.

As he sat down, he gently rubbed her back," Proud of you for opening up. You did a good thing."

" You know?"

" No, Lil didn't tell me the details. She's worried like I am for you."

Christina continued to cry softly, as her anger rose inside," You have no idea what I've been through, being beaten and humiliated. He even raped me while I was pregnant then smacked me around. Made fun of my big stomach. Won't let me see a doctor, hit me for trying to sneak out to get something that I was craving."

Scotty felt terrible for her," What Cliff did to you, shouldn't have happened. He's dead ; been dead for eight months."

" Lil never had to go through what I did, she was supposed to be my damn sister. He shouldn't have come back that day to take us to the beach. Lousy scum, nice thing to do your five and seven year old daughters; whom just wanted to be loved. Had an alcoholic mother who we had to take care of. "

He let out a breath," At the time he didn't realize how it would affect you two. He realized that later after he sobered up."

" Not an excuse, you don't do that to two kids that were in need of love. No one to protect or love us. I was only three when he left. When it came back, I was so stupid in thinking that Lil and I would be sisters again."

Just as Scotty was about to speak, Christina slapped him hard across the face.


	3. Two Friends

Scotty knew why the reasons behind why Christina had smacked him. Although, what her outburst grew to such severity that she had been sedated. He left the facility, shortly after Paul Cooper had arrived. Christina needed him more than him at the moment, besides the fact that Scotty was needed back at headquarters anyways.

Across town, Lilly was already at home; not entirely thrilled that her father was there. Since there was nothing that he could do at the moment, to help Christina. He felt the tension, but understood there reasons for why, " You can't blame yourself, I'm the one that still blames myself."

Lilly sighed," Part of it is from Cliff abusing her. Chris made a poor choice, not to say that the other half is from our childhood. The way that we grew up, I can't blame someone whose dead," meaning her mother," Anyway, can't change what she did."

That was something that Lilly had learned how to accept, " When you left, Chris was only three years old. I think the hurt hit home, the day you came back to takes us both to the beach. Why did you come back only to leave again not to mention never seeing you until later in our lives?"

She felt the anger rising, but had managed to keep it under control," Might as well not have shown up. Did you not realize what it did to us?"

As Paul sat down on the soft beside her, he exhaled softly," I didn't realize what I did to you two that day."

" You yelled at Chris, when she began to cry. I stood there watching knowing that I was right about you going to leave again. It hurt, especially once the front door slammed shut. Of course Mom does nothing in the way of comforting us; but instead has a drink."

By now, Paul's own guilty was rising. He had been a terrible father to both his eldest daughters," I remember seeing that anger on your face, inside you were hurting just as bad. Didn't see what damage until I sobered up."

Lilly wasn't going to blame him for everything, besides he actually cleaned up his act and straighten out his life, whereas her mother didn't, " Chris was always in trouble, the reason why I always pushed her away. She's messed up, one of the reason as to why I don't take Amanda in to visit her. She doesn't need to see her mother that way."

Paul couldn't agree more," You have every right not to, Christina can't be around her own child, for emotional reasons. She had to be sedated, she even hit your partner in his face. He figured it was best to call me, I guess knowing that you had your hands full between work and caring for Amanda."

" Scotty did the right thing," which Lilly understand and wasn't angry at him for not calling her, " You should go back, be with Chris. She needs to have someone there, besides Scotty and I. "

Even after he had left, it didn't stop her from thinking about her sister. By nightfall, she felt glad once Scotty had arrived. They both were equally exhausted, but happy to be with one another. Neither brought up the case or Christina for that matter.

Instead, just sat down together on the couch," I know you wanted us to be together. Felt l rejected you and slept with her. Truth is you are like blood to me Lil; family. You're my sister, it feels that way. Always has, and also my best friend. "

Lilly felt honored but as her head rested down onto his shoulder, she felt comforted and safe by him. She knew that he always be there for her to confide in," I don't think that dad fully sees what's really going on. The damage that's been done."

" I think he does Lil, but also sees that you and Chris don't trust him. He's not going to leave, he has a life and a family of his own. On the other hand, since he's been back, you do seem happier. You worried all these years where he was, yet you still love him."

She hated to admit this but Scotty always knew what she was thinking," It's not the trust, just that Dad has never once mentioned Chris to me. Not even in the letter that he sent to me when I was fifteen or when I found him. It's like she never existed, or that he's not her real father."

" Is he aware of her history?"

" Apparently not, yet I never mentioned her to him either. It's a bit odd, to ask about your ex but not about your other daughter."

Scotty knew that Lilly was going through a lot right now emotionally. Only that she was able to trust him enough to open up about her own feelings. He knew how to be a good friend and help her," If he has secrets, he needs to come clean and share. Chris will heal better if she knew the truth, and you also knowing would also help."

That was going to be another problem," Finn told me that Celeste was pissed at him when he informed her about Chris. The two had a major fight, I think he's also keeping secrets about his past from is other family."

" Maybe he doesn't want to relive the past. Yet, is the only parent that you had left."

Lilly was sick of her father and his secrets, in fact she wanted to get him to spit everything out. Scotty prevented her from headed down there," He's not one of our suspects Lil, you can't just yell at him and expect him to confess. You have every right to know but that isn't the way."

" No but I don't want a liar around my niece!," Lilly yelled angrily, " What's even worse is why Chris and I never had his last time. Maybe he's not even my real father either," realizing that her emotions were getting the best of her.

As she started to calm down, she knew that Scotty was right, "Crap, I let myself get carried away."

" It's late Lil, how about you get some sleep. Been a long day for both of us."

The two hugged before Scotty left, after that Lilly went upstairs to check on Amanda before heading into the bathroom. She had no idea about certain relationship that she was about to rekindle and about all the dark secrets, her father was keeping.


	4. Anger and Love

Paul now was being ignored for sometime by both Lilly and Christina. What was worse was the fact that he couldn't even visit Amanda, which devastated him. Yet in addition, he was now facing a divorce after a bitter fight.

Still, he knew that he had to sit down to tell all. It was the only way, but on the other hand didn't want to bring forth anymore emotional pain. Just three days later, he arrived at Lilly's apartment knowing that what he was about to say, would hurt her deeply.

Of course, the two argued a bit since it was hard enough for him to even go about telling her the truth. That seemed to rattle Lilly up even more, " I get it, you're not my real father or Chris's for that matter. It makes perfect sense, to why there wasn't any child support nor divorce."

Nevertheless, she continued onward," Just tell me is that what you've been keeping from us all these years. It could explain why both my sister and I don't have the same last name as you."

That's when Paul could no longer put up with her anger," You want answers Lilly, you already had figured out that your mother and I weren't married," as he sat down on the couch. Once she was sitting on the loveseat, Paul started from the beginning. As much as he didn't want to relive the past; he couldn't deny Lilly nor Christina the truth.

" The truth is that I am your real father, but I'm not sure about your sister. I had suspected that your mother was cheating on me, but never could actually prove it," which was what Lilly knew he was going to say.

Even in the letter that he had written to her, never mentioned Christina. Nor did he ask when she found him years later. Indeed there was something very wrong with this picture, but all signs told her that he clearly wasn't Christina's father.

Still she wanted proof," I think you should have a paternity test, just to make sure. It can't hurt to find out if you are in fact; Chris's father and mine."

That made Paul immediately look over at her," Do you really think that I'm not Lilly? I know that I am!"

" I'm not buying the story about you two having a fight and you missing both our births. Are you forgetting that I'm a cop, I know when someone's lying to me."

As much as Paul knew that Lilly was his daughter, he knew that the Paternity test wouldn't be such a good thing. He just didn't want either of them to push him away, but then again the two wanted answers. The only way for them to believe what he was saying was to go ahead and have the test done.

Being as stubborn as he was, he put his foot down on that. Once he did that, Lilly already knew that this was going to happen," Why not find out the truth, unless you already know?"

" It's not worth me doing Lilly!", Paul yelled, seeing that Lilly wasn't too happy with his response," This isn't what your sister needs right now."

" Why should you care, you're probably not even her father?" which set him off yelling even louder, to the point that she had it, " Just leave, and don't even come back. Not even to see my sister, and whatever truth that you know about you rather keep from me."

Just an hour after he had left, Eddie arrived. It was good timing, noticing the look that was on her face. Of course the fact that Lilly had just thrown the kitchen towel down onto the countertop in anger, told him that things didn't go well.

As he gently rubbed her back, she sighed deeply, " I thought by finding him I'd feel better. He thinks that he's not Chris's father, but refuses to take a paternity test. Something tells me that he's not mine either."

Eddie knew all about growing up in a broken home, he himself had grown up in one far worse than she had it. However not once did he ever think about his own childhood, it was something that Eddie never wanted to revisit. On the other hand, knew that it was time for him to tell her, " Feeling Abandoned and unloved as a kid, I can relate to that."

She turned, looking up into his eyes; knowing already that they had both grown up in the same neighborhood," Always thought you grew up in a big loving family."

"Far from that, I had it worse."

Once they were sitting on down on the couch, Eddie began opening up more," I was disowned a long time ago. Parents didn't care too much about me. Got beat, hit and screamed at constantly. Dispite your mom being an alcoholic, she still loved you and Christina."

Lilly knew that part was true, " I know it was her drinking that made him leave, but he never opens up about where he went. Doesn't have any criminal record, but the thing that bothers me the most is that he never mentioned my sister. Yet came back and took us both to the beach, it hurt Christina deeply. She just wanted be loved by him. Even cried that night when he dropped us off at home."

Yet as she allowed her head to rest down on his shoulder, Eddie exhaled deeply," I don't he realizes the total damage that was done. At least he cleaned up his act, stopped drinking. At least you two never had any bruises from him."

Inside Eddie felt the darkness returning; making him feel depressed," I just wanted to have a family who loved me. Tried everything, but my mom would yell. I'd hide out in the park or on the roof of my apartment building just to get away. Felt miserable the day that I graduated the academy, knowing that nobody cared for me."

Touching his hand, Eddie knew that Lilly loved him, " I don't have a problem with you raising Amanda, won't ruin the relationship. We could spend time doing things with her."

" Just don't want Amanda to feel unloved if it doesn't work out. It's bad enough that Christina isn't stable enough to raise her, I know that she loves her."

Eddie nodded softly, but for awhile there was silence between them. Yet, they both knew that they deeply loved one another. An hour later, the two were fast asleep on the couch. When morning had arrived, he got up early; kissing Lilly on the cheek before leaving.

Yet when she awoke; she knew that she had to tell Christina. By all means her sister deserved to know about what Paul had said. Of course, the upcoming argument that Lilly would have with Scotty would have them both not speaking to one another for two long weeks.


End file.
